The Symbol
Every
Memorial Day I hang the flag that draped my stepfather’s coffin, every year
except for one. That year I did not look forward to the holiday as I had in the
past. I did not hang the flag on Memorial Day, for I had hung it on the front
porch on September 11th of the preceding year and had yet to take it
down.
That
September 11th was a nightmare of a day, and my heart ached as I
watched the flag unfurl in the breeze. The reason I hung the flag was sad. The
reason I owned it was sad. They both dealt with death. The flag hung through a complete cycle
of the seasons and throughout that year I would look out the window and see the
flag twisted into a tight spiral. It seemed appropriate that Old Glory wound
around upon itself since my feelings were also twisted tight within me.
There are
no words for how I felt. It was as if my ability to express emotion was
shattered in the explosions that shook our nation that September. I stared at
the tangled flag and could not summon the energy needed to set it free. There
was a void inside me. The internal essence of the United States of America,
that treasured part of my identity, had been damaged and I was afraid. I
grieved.
Then one day as I stared at the flag the wind
changed and this special piece of cloth unfurled and snapped in the breeze as
if irritated at having its independence stifled. In a wild, daring dance of
red, white and blue it cavorted, made me grin in spite of my fear. I watched it
and my heart relaxed, the pain eased. I smiled deep inside for the first time
in months. You can’t kill a good idea, I realized.
The spirit of America is meant to be free, not
twisted and confined. We are a people who dance upon the winds of our dreams.
So today I will take a long moment to thank my stepfather for the flag that lay
across his coffin. Then I will go outside, hang his flag, place my hand over my
heart and salute the vision that symbolizes our country. I will twirl around,
synchronize my movements with those of Old Glory and I will celebrate the ones
who released me from fear. They gave so much for me. The least I can do is
honor Memorial Day for them.
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